HOW TO SPOT A BULLSH!TTER

Feminist Fight Club: An Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace by Jessica Bennett Is a very insightful book on fighting sexism. Below is an excerpt from the book:

Feminist Fight Club.jpg

HOW TO SPOT A BULLSH!TTER

Here’s what business bros are great at filling the air to sound like they know what they’re talking about, even when they know about as much as the white board they’re gesturing in front of. But since the ban on bullsh!t isn’t coming to America any time soon, a few crib notes for recognizing the practitioners of this dubious art.

BULLSH!TTER: The Synergist

Says “synergy” and “pipeline” without an actual noun. Thinks “ideating” and “decisioning” are words and refuses to acknowledge otherwise.

SPIRIT ANIMAL: The Rabbit

Much like the rabbit, the Synergist excretes a particular type of crap that is not particularly offensive when taken individually. But if you have to spend a day with this guy, these small pellets will amount to a huge, heaping pile of smelly crap.

BULLSH!TTER: The Empty Wordsmith

Fills the room with long, vague phrases that mean nothing like, “Let’s take a step back for a minute” or “Let’s focus on the low-hanging fruit,” then offers a generic platitude like, “We’re all in this for the mission, right?”

SPIRIT ANIMAL: The Pigeon

Like the pigeon, the Wordsmith’s sh!t drops in unexpectedly in the middle of a meeting, leaving your mouth agape and your blazer covered in goo .

BULLSH!TTER: The Grammarian

Loves the phrase “Let’s unpack that statement” as an excuse to break said statement into its component parts, repeating what you’ve already said but in terms a child could understand. Also prone to chiming in at the end of a meeting to say, “So in summary … “

SPIRIT ANIMAL: The Mouse

The mouse’s bullsh!t is inoffensive and even sort of cute, if you take the repetition of your words as his way of complimenting your idea. But one too many rounds of “Let’s unpack that” and you’ve likely got a full-fledged infestation on your hands.

BULLSH!TTER: The Flatterer

Compliments the overall tone of the meeting without saying anything of substance. “I don’t want to be too navel gazing but I feel like we’re making great progress.” He also enjoys agreeing with smart things other people have said, in hopes that his words will be associated with their wisdom.

SPIRIT ANIMAL: The Dog

Like a puppy, this bullsh!tter smells a good idea and feels the need to piss on top of it, in order to add his own scent to the mix.

BULLSH!TTER: The Disrupter

Uses the words “disrupt,” “disruption,” or “disruptive technology” because he thinks it makes him sound cool. Also frequently insists on “action items” and “key takeaways.”

SPIRIT ANIMAL: The Cow

The cow can’t help but put forth a horribly “disruptive” pile of heaping sh!t. The good news is he’s impossible to miss for anyone with a sense of smell.

BULLSH!TTER: The PowerPointer

Produces elaborate paper handouts or PowerPoint presentations. The more he dresses up the content-Venn diagrams, fancy fonts-the more he thinks it will “distract” from the lack of substance.

SPIRIT ANIMAL: The Sloth

The sloth takes days to coordinate its weekly poop, traveling a rough terrain of foliage, branches, and tree trunk in order to finally get the job done (at the bottom of its tree). It’s a lot of effort put into an act that leaves the sloth vulnerable to predators.

BULLSH!TTER: The Closer

Arrives to the meeting completely unprepared, waits until it’s almost over, then chimes in to question the reason for having the meeting in the first place. “Wait, guys, can I just ask what we’re trying to do here?”

SPIRIT ANIMAL: The Cat

Sneaky, undetectable, and likely to be hiding in a dark corner under a whiteboard somewhere-you won’t see this bullsh!t coming until its stench suddenly hits you.

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